Thursday, November 22, 2007

I see the internet light flash on my cable modem every now and then. Then the PC Link light bounces on and off every hour or so, it’s a carnival of no activity when it comes to the transfer of bits and bytes across the coaxial cable, but a feast of Christmas lights on a small box a month before time. Or maybe just a busted traffic light; flashing green instead of red. Green must be the red in the underground internet traffic lingo of bits and bytes. Perhaps it means to come to a complete stop before crossing; however, today they’re just stopping, there is no movement.

Today is day two of internet agony. For a cyber junky that wakes up to check his email instead of having a cup of coffee or getting the morning paper, it might seem like living hell. But on the contrary, it is far from it for me. My relationship with technology is a seesaw like love affair. But most of the time I feel like running away from it (I sure as hell make it sound like I’m married to it). However, I was cursed with my father’s genes when I was born; therefore, I was born into a life of creativity and techno-junk. I remember going to the peanut farm that my Dad had procured a few years ago. My Aunt, his sister, dubbed him to be the next President like Carter, which made me laugh. There was no electricity there, a small ravine with a stream passing through on one edge. There was total silence; an awe inspiring solitude of sheer quietness and calmness. I loved it. However, my Dad thought otherwise, and sold it a year or two later. What I need right now is exactly that, I need brakes, a full stop. Somewhere I can totally stop. But my brain is still on full throttle, I have things to do, deadlines to meet. This over clocked processor, known as my brain, depresses me at times. Occasionally I feel that I don’t even have time to think of subtleties of life because my brain is constantly crunching down numbers, having a sequence of events crontabbed in my head to constantly tell me to finish a certain task or molding a new one. I am definitely glad I’m not a computer, a human made of flesh and blood instead. Although I don’t have time to take out for recharging right now, I will soon. Maybe at the end of the school quarter, for I am certainly looking forward to it.

Anyway, back to my reading for now.

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